Lost

I have a recurring dream where I look at one of my rings and realize that a gemstone has fallen out. I think it is a cousin of the teeth-falling-out dream. But I was dismayed last night to realize that I had indeed lost the diamond from my engagement/wedding set. What is strange is that the stone didn't just fall out. The entire setting broke off of the ring! You would have thought that I would be aware of it catching on something for that to happen.

I am not a woman who pines for fancy jewelry. In fact, I know enough about the exploitation of workers and the environment in pursuit of the Earth's treasures, that I hesitate to buy any precious metals or gems new (as opposed to pre-owned) these days. When we had our wedding rings made, we found a goldsmith who was willing to use a combination of old rings and dental gold from both of our grandparents. My diamond was from a ring that had belonged to Ed's great aunt Mandy. I wanted to cry when I discovered that it was gone.

Then I started telling myself that it's just a diamond, expensive to replace, yes, but a small thing in light of so many other things in the world. It has no bearing on our marriage, which is strong and loving. Yeah, well … I'm still sad.

Our 23rd wedding anniversary is this Sunday. Ed's wedding band hasn't fit him for several years; perhaps my loss is the kick in the butt needed to rectify that situation. Most goldsmiths seem unwilling to make rings out of old gold that may contain impurities (or so I've been told,) but I wonder if someone would be willing to remake our old bands into two new bands for us.

My hand feels naked without it.