The weather ...
60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Green Bay sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Milwaukee gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves,
wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Sheboygan have the last cookout before
it gets cold.
Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in LaCrosse get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Wisconsin are selling cookies
door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Land O' Lakes let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Wisconsinites get upset because they can't start the
Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the
Kelvin scale.)
People in Wausau start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer
ya?"
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Wisconsin public schools will open 2 hours late (editorial comment: except Madison, and Supt. Art Rainwater explains in a press conference how "it would leave too many parents without day care.")
Seriously, a few years ago we were invited to a"freeze your butt off" picnic on New Year's Day at the farm of some friends. We sat around a fire (outdoors) and roasted wienies. It was great fun and we felt so, you know, superior to everybody else.
1 comment:
Love this! We have a friend who lives in MN and he always laughs at us when we say it's cold (in So California).... he came out to visit one winter and wore shorts almost the entire time he was here.
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