Ah, Kindergartners

I've been back in school for 3 days, and the cuteness is pretty darned cute. A quote from yesterday: "Ms. Grindrod, I'm going to the bathroom. I have to go poop, so I might be gone for a while, just in case you're wondering." I guess she was afraid I'd suspect her of playing in the bathroom, which is one of my pet peeves.

Same child returned from lunch today with a speck-sized hangnail and quickly escalated to a wail of "It's bleeeeeding! I need a baaaaaand-aid!" "Yes, I can see that it's gushing blood," I replied. "We may have to call the custodian to mop up." My sarcasm was lost on her, as she agreed with me. I was to drop everything and get a band-aid -- which I did.

On the way to the cafeteria for lunch, another child earnestly suggested that everyone should have to genuflect before eating their lunch. (She didn't actually say "genuflect"; she just gave a demonstration.) I tactfully told her that I didn't think a requirement like that would go over to well in [public] school.

Later on she couldn't find her library book and was becoming quite upset. When we finally found it, she told me "I think the Lord helped us find it!" (Kind of reminds me of my mom. She'd say, "Which of you spilled cocoa on the counter and didn't wipe it up?" We'd all brush her off: "I don't know. It wasn't me …" and exasperated, she'd snap "I suppose the dear Lord did it!")

Ah, it's good to be back!

Makin' a List and Checkin' It Twice.

Out at recess this morning with all of the Kinders and First Graders. My colleague came over to inform me that she had just called the office to report some inappropriate graffiti on the climbing structure. "Guess what it says," she said. "Um, f*ck something?" was my guess. (We are right down the street from the high school, after all, and often find interesting, um er, artifacts on our playground.) "No, worse!" she said. "It says Santa doesn't exist."

The bastards! They're targeting an elementary school population … does that qualify as a hate crime?

More from the mouths of kindergartners …

As a 23-year veteran kindergarten teacher I have developed the skill of waiting … waiting for the stragglers to come to the rug, sit criss-cross applesauce (kindergarten language for sit down and shut up,) clean up the playdough, get in line, etc. I have a whole repertoire of waiting songs. So on Friday the entire class but one is in line to go to art class. The one is putting on his shoes. It is taking a long, long time. I start singing this song (you know, so the others don't get restless and start some insurgent activity) that has movements for the kids to copy. We're singing, and gosh, the kid is taking a long time, and I'm running out of ideas for hand motions, so I start to do this bastardized rock-and-roll thingy, moving my fists up and down, and this little girl pipes up from the back of the line: "Teacher! Are you squeezing a cow's boobs?"

Kindergartners -- Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Live Without 'Em

Day 5 of the new school year. I finished work, went home for a little while and then it was back to school for the PTO meeting. (I am a regular attender, along with my knitting.) Leaving the meeting to go home and walk the dog, my principal stopped me in the hall to inform me that one of my students had smuggled his scissors onto the school bus in his backpack after school, and given himself -- and a friend -- haircuts! The other child's parent was at the PTO meeting. Fortunately she was laughing about it. Fortunately my principal was laughing about it too. I'm wondering, is it enough of a logical consequence to have to go around with funky hair until it grows out? I'll say one thing for certain about my job -- it is never boring.

What's the trouble with Harry?

We watched Alfred Hitchcock's 1955 comedy The Trouble With Harry last night. It was a favorite of my parents, and the first time I saw it as a kid, it scared the dickens out of me. Very funny black comedy. Recommended.

Yippee!

Season 2 of Chad Vader is finally here! Just to catch you up on season 1: Chad Vader, Darth's younger brother, is the day shift manager at Empire Market, where he is locked in mortal combat with Clint, the night shift manager, and striving to win the heart of Clarissa. You can watch all of season 1 on the You Tubes.

Just As I've Suspected All Along

Babies really are just the larvae of the human species. (Thanks to the wonderful and delightful blog, Boing Boing, from which I lifted this.)

Meet "Chowder" -- my very own Sea Kitten!

Isn't she cute? Mighty tasty too!